Charese McLean-Davis
Westcoasteditor@excapthematrix.com Up until very recent years, homosexuality was considered a “dirty little secret,” a taboo subject (especially in the church) and/or one of the few reasons that it was acceptable to dislike a person. In fact, homosexuality was once considered a psychiatric disorder. There are countless accounts of gay hate crimes which are too heinous to mention. The question as to whether a heterosexual individual could be “suffering” from homophobia can even be given a yea or nay. In 1994, the “Wright, Adams, and Bernat Homophobia Scale” was developed by several doctors at that University of Georgia. The objective of the questionnaire was to measure the thoughts and reactions of those who completed it and consequently, a determination as to whether or not the respondent was homophobic could be made.
I will admit it. As a girl that was brought up in a somewhat strict Christian home, the idea of homosexuality was always somewhat daunting to me. Perhaps it was because I couldn’t conceive of how one could desire someone else of the same sex. Maybe it was because I was afraid of risking the licks of hell’s fire if I associated with those that were “choosing sin.” What I understand today is that as a teen, most of my fear was born out of misinformation about sexuality in general. I mean, I never even got “the” talk from my mother! How could I fully understand sex, let alone a same sex relationship? The A.I.D.S. epidemic is not the result of gay promiscuity, you cannot catch “gayness,” those that are gay are not any more promiscuous than heterosexuals, and being gay does not mean that you want to switch genders.
Today, I’m wiser and have set my own ground rules and belief system (all gay folks are not going to hell; plenty of straight folks are). Yet the idea that I was ever or could still be even a little “homophobic” was disconcerting for me; I needed to rule it out. So I braved the Homophobia Scale, answering it as honestly and openly as I could. Voila! As I suspected, I’m not homophobic. My curiosity peaked.
I reached out to my friends and acquaintances to find out where they stood on the issue. I sent out questions from the Homophobia Scale. Below are some of the responses I received:
1. Do you feel that marriage between homosexual individuals is acceptable?
“ABSOLUTELY NOT! Since when do gay people get to re-write the Bible? Since never!” – Female, 23
“I really couldn’t care less. I’d rather they do that then marry ME on the down low!” – Female, 32
“Two women getting married is hot! I would love for them to cheat on each other with me!” – Male, 44
2. Would it upset you if you learned that a close friend was homosexual?“No. I would hope I’ve been a good enough friend for them to want to tell me.” – Female, 39
“I would never speak to any guy friend if he came out of the closet to me. Hell no.” – Male, 32
“I wouldn’t want any of my friends to be gay because they might get hurt. I wouldn’t care but some people at school don’t like gay people and might try to hurt them.” – Male, 13
3. Do you believe that “gay people deserve what they get?“If they aren’t careful, then yeah, they asked for it!” – Male, 32
“That’s ridiculous. Gay people don’t do any more dirt than straight people. I love my dirt and I’m real straight!” – Male, 24
“I believe that we have to get to the bottom of whether or not homosexuality is a sin before we can really discuss this.” - Male, 44
4. Does it bother you to see two homosexual people together in public?“Yeah, it does. It should bother me. I have kids and I have to worry about them enough as it is. Explaining that doesn’t help.” – Female, 35
“I think it does. I never really thought about it but I think so. I just don’t get it. To each his own I guess.” – Male, 31
“It doesn’t bother me unless there’s a bunch of PDA going on, but that also bothers me when I see straight couples going at it. Get a room!” - Female, 26
5. Do you feel that homosexuality is immoral?
“I do. I’m sorry but I do. I’m a Christian and that’s what I have to base my truth on. I don’t think they’re bad people, but I do think that what they’re doing is wrong. On the flip-side, who wants to fight against who they are? That would suck if I had to do that.” – Male, 30
“I think it’s wrong but that all people are the same. I happen to believe it’s a sin but I have so many things that I struggle with that I can’t even begin to throw stones.” – Female, 26
What do these answers tell us about where society has placed the idea of homosexuality? Well, nothing much. As with years past, the subject of the acceptance of homosexuality continues to be split down the middle.
The other side of the coin is one that is quite surprising. The topic of heterophobia is one that most people are not too familiar with. However, the term is one that is quite common. In addressing 5 different homosexuals about their views of heterosexuality, I asked them some questions, which garnered interesting results.
1. Why do you think there is so much animosity where homosexuality is concerned?
“People are afraid of their own truth. They can’t deal with the fact that we’re open in our truth and they can’t be because they might be ostracized.” – Male, 22
“I’m really tired of the ‘holier than thou s***. I know too many people in the church that are under cover gays. THAT’S why they overcompensate and say we’re all going to hell. Please…we’ll be next to each other!” – Male, 31
“I’m not sure. I wish people would leave me alone. I didn’t choose this. I’m beginning to hate straight people because they make my life a living hell.” – Male, 17
2. Do you believe in the “down low” phenomenon? Discuss the fear that is being caused by it.“There’s no such thing. You’re gay. And I’m sick of hearing about how ‘straight men’ can’t leave their wives for me but they can ‘be themselves’ with me. They’re on the down low with being straight, not from being gay! You’re already gay and someone somewhere knows it, and it’s probably your wife.” – Male, 31
“I’ve been seeing the same guy for a year now and if we get caught, he’s going to say that I seduced him. So called ‘straight’ people are the ones that keep drama going. I’m fine being gay. If you’re hiding it, how is that my fault? – Male, 27
“You can’t trust straight people at ALL. They’re cool until I tell them I’m gay. I’ve been hurt so many times that I don’t even bother giving them my time. I don’t deserve being hurt just because you’re close minded. To think you’re better than me is a cop out. – Female, 26
3. Do you feel pressured to conform to heterosexuality?
“I feel that pressure every day. It’s SO hard for me to go to school because of how I’m treated by straight people. Why is it that they call themselves ‘normal’ but they’re the ones acting like animals? - 17 year old male
“Hell naw!” – 27 year old male
Over the past 3 or so years, I’ve become close with a few people (male and female) that happen to be gay. I don’t choose to “overlook” their sexual orientation, I love them unconditionally by choice. I have come to know them well enough to understand that their being gay is not all that they are about. They don’t judge me based upon my choices, faults or innate ability to see pink bunnies dancing in my head every now and again. Whatever my beliefs are on the subject, it is more than crucial for me that they know I love them. I would hope that I would receive that same acceptance from the homosexual community. One thing my mother did make sure she taught me was that the Golden Rule applies to everyone. After all, isn’t that what the Bible teaches us to do across the board?
